2 Apr 2014

United Midfielder Is A Ticking Time Bomb

Football has changed incredibly over the years, so much so, that £27.5m ensures you secure the services of a Premier League/International footballer who would probably struggle to make any kind of positive impression on a Sunday league encounter down on Hackney Marshes.

This 6ft 4" Belgian would enjoy the aggressive side of Sunday League football, he'd get away with his off the ball elbows, that's if he could get anywhere within touching distance of the players who are using their Sunday morning run out as a means of sweating the previous evenings alcohol consumption out of them. If the penny hasn't dropped yet, I'm talking about Manchester United's hideous haired misfit Marouane Fellaini.

Fellaini joined Manchester United during the final hour of the September 2013 transfer window, David Moyes stated shortly after completing the deal that: "Fellaini was always my main target", I smell bull faeces Davey lad, the words 'Panic' and 'Buy' instantly spring to mind. Why didn't the club sign him the week before when his buy-out clause was reportedly £4m cheaper?

Chief Executive Ed Woodward spent the summer of 2013 stalking Barcelona play maker Cesc Fàbregas, United made more bids for the player than Anderson has had fast food take aways, and that's quite a few.

When Woodward finally got the message and accepted that Fàbregas was not seduced by his charm, the panic button was pressed and United became the laughing stock of football as they placed bids for players like one would on Internet auction site eBay. As time ticked away, and Manchester United in danger of failing to secure a signing for David Moyes, he went back to the club he once managed, knowing that the Fellaini signing was easy and achievable.

The bushy haired Belgian signed on the dotted line for United just in time to register him for the 2013/14 season. Going for Cesc Fàbregas and ending up with Marouane Fellaini was underwhelming to say the least, it's like planning to eat at San Carlo and the settling for a kebab and chips in a backstreet fast food takeaway.

Marouane Fellaini has been shocking on the pitch for Manchester United this season, he resembles an intoxicated hippy stumbling around the centre of the midfield letting games pass him by. Some will say that assessment is harsh, 'give him time' will be the defence from some supporters, I don't subscribe to that theory and questioning a player does not make you any less of a fan, it's criticism I believe he deserves.

His elbow on in the Manchester derby on City's Pablo Zabaleta was disgraceful, and proves that the Belgian is an accident waiting to happen, he's a walking red card who does not think about the consequences of his actions and the pressure that he could put on his team mates, his comment that Zabaleta ran into his elbow was pathetic.

He has failed to impose anything in United's midfield, he often looks like the school bully in the playground who goes around kicking all the other children.

Against Bayern Munich in the first leg Quarter Final of the Champions League at Old Trafford, every player apart from the ticking time bomb put in 110%, they showed passion, desire, fight, Marouane Fellaini was a hindrance, a handicap, playing the champions of Europe was always going to be a tough task, Playing Fellaini was like playing with 10 men, he had absolutely no effect on the game whatsoever.

£27.5m is a huge amount of money for a player who has contributed absolutely nothing so far in his first season with the club. A Manchester United fanzine run a story a while ago about playing staff being baffled by Fellaini in training, claiming that some sniggered at the Belgian because he's that poor. I found it hard to believe at first, but on the evidence so far, there is probably some element of truth to that story.

Manchester United are stuck with Marouane Fellaini, they would recoup nowhere near the fee they paid for him if they ever tried to offload him, but who would want him anyway? Everton must be laughing. I never thought I'd see a worse player than Anderson in that central midfield role at Old Trafford, Fellaini is quickly overtaking the Brazilian and must be a firm favourite to claim the wooden spoon.